


the devil wears black on a summers day

by orphan_account



Series: hell & you [1]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Drabble, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Internalized Homophobia, Religion, Sexual Repression, the vanpliku is implied
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:07:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24191074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The boy that Naminé introduces him to is loud, blunt and sarcastic, but with a clear soft spot to his sister. That makes him smile.
Relationships: Naminé & Riku Replica (Kingdom Hearts), Riku Replica/Vanitas (Kingdom Hearts)
Series: hell & you [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1745959
Kudos: 16





	the devil wears black on a summers day

He was born and raised in a strict, religious household. They were nothing but pure. And good. Above all else, _holy_. 

His father used to say that their family was destined for good things -- great things, even. The devil just had to be sealed up tight, 

R has always nodded along, a stoic look upon his features. 

Good. Pure. Holy. 

For fear of ruining those things, he doesn’t think about the matters of flesh; especially not other boys. 

He wants to be everything his father wants him to be. Wants to live up to expectations that he knows he should be easily able to reach. Wants to protect his sister, to take on the brunt of whatever attack there is. 

He’s a good boy. He has to be.

・

One day, in the library, he reads about a man named Pavlov and his dogs. Learns about conditioning, about neutral shortcuts, grouping of stimuli. 

It makes him smile a little bit to himself. 

He checks the book out, keeping to himself but not being entirely rude to the librarian. 

Association. Expectation. Adaption. 

Perfect.

・

The next day, he wears a hair tie on his wrist.   
He says it’s because his hair is getting longer. 

・

Whenever he thinks about boys, he snaps the hair tie on his wrist. 

It stings a little, but that always distracts him. It’s good. It’s fine. 

・

He’s just barely sixteen years old when he starts to crack; the porcelain that he carefully built up so long ago slowly crumbling, leaving him so open and vulnerable and weak. 

The boy that Naminé introduces him to is loud, blunt and sarcastic, but with a clear soft spot to his sister. That makes him smile.

He understands it. 

His freckles are like constellations, and he’s darker-skinned, and R’s fingers itch to grab the boy’s face (is his skin soft? He wants to know. Will he mind the callouses on his fingers?) and start counting them. 

He itches at his wrist, and Naminé fixes him with a pointed look. 

Vanitas’ hand brushes his while they’re out for ice cream, and he almost chokes on his breath; the back of his neck and his face feeling hot. 

・

Later, that night, he snaps the hair tie around his wrist so hard that it breaks. The surely nasty bruise forming on his cheek stings. But, he presses it into his shoulder, presses his fingers against his wrist and bites down on his lip so hard that it bleeds and distracts himself from the imaginary feeling of the other boy’s fingers against his lips. 

Tears well up in his eyes, but he blinks them back, the shame rising up his throat like bile. 

**Author's Note:**

> oop lmao ajdnsj here i am,,, a gay. writing abt vanpliku again  
> criticsm is appreciatejf


End file.
